Summertime Beach Bodies Part 3

Wait, did I say the goal was to lose 10 pounds? What was I thinking?

Actually, things are going well on the fitness front. I feel like I’m increasing my strength and muscle mass, which must be, definitely be, the reason why I’m not losing weight at a high rate.

Four weeks ago, I said set out a goal to get to 155 pounds by August. I wanted to lose the relationship weight I had gained over the past two years, and at the time I figured a simple target weight would be appropriate for my goals.

We’re only human, aren’t we? Sometimes, we’ll look back at the things we’ve said and the goals we want accomplished and realize that our perspectives change and evolve.

I know, it really sounds like I’m pussying out right now.

But let me finish. After four weeks – three serious weeks, really – I feel considerably better. I’m exercising more diligently and I’m approaching my diet with greater discipline.

By the way, I stepped on the scale this morning at clocked in at 159 pounds, so I am losing weight, motherfucker.

Today’s world is pretty much devoid of patience.

Does anyone know how to wait for things they want? Clearly, not many of us.

I have friends that will text a girl only to check their phones five, six times within a span of ten minutes, checking to see if she’s texted them back.

When we finish a season of Game of Thrones, we are full of indignant rage because we have to wait a year to find out what happens next (I think his eyes turned purple).

Which brings me to weight loss and fitness. If we’ve unlocked the technology to watch every episode of every TV show ever made, then how come there isn’t a magic pill that gets us ripped within a week’s time?

Where would the fun in that be?

Yes, there have been days when I didn’t want to work out, and there have been moments along the way when I wanted to go total #carblife, but overall I’m having an enjoyable experience. Not only do I feel better physically, I feel much better mentally. I am learning about the joys of a gradual crescendo.

Be diligent, persistent, and wait for the rewards to come in time. This can really be applied to almost anything in our lives.

Hopefully I won’t fall off the wagon, especially after talking all this shit. But this chocolate and peanut butter cake that Emily baked the other day that’s sitting in our fridge is really fucking with me.

Chocolate and Peanut Butter Cake

A badass chocolate peanut butter cake.

– Chris.



Vomiting My Way To Six-Pack Abs

Currently, I’m on a diet.

This means my stomach is constantly empty, like my soul.

I started watching Dexter. I really like this guy. He knows who he is and what he’s born to do, which is more than I can say for most of us. But I digress.

The combination of my low-tolerance for alcohol and my new diet is quite volatile.

The other day, I had Korean barbecue with Emily and two of our friends. Since I’m Korean and stupid, I decided to drink beer with my meat.

When I finished stuffing myself with brisket and lager, we headed back to our house for more drinks, continuing the night’s theme of smart life decisions.

After smoking half a cigarette and taking in a sip of Bourbon, I met reality. He’s a mean fucker.

He punched me right in the gut, fully knowing I had done some Ab workouts earlier in the day. What an asshole.

I went upstairs to change into something more comfortable when I approached a crossroads.

Actually, it was Morpheus. He held out both hands, palms up, as he’s apt to do. I wanted to ask him how the hell those glasses balance on his nose, but before I got a word out, he said, “You can either throw up now and pass out, or you can pass out and deal with the hangover tomorrow morning.”

“That’s an easy decision, dumbass. Don’t you know I’m on a diet?” Morpheus was never the smartest.

So I made my way to say a quick prayer to the porcelain god. I said hello again to the brisket and lager from earlier in the evening, flushed them goodbye, washed up, and collapsed on my bed.

The next morning, I woke up feeling great.

Not only was I able to eat great food and drink beer, but I didn’t feel bloated and hungover the following day.

I got up and looked in the mirror.

Yessir. The stomach is looking tighter, baby.

I guess I’m vomiting my way to six-pack abs.


– Chris.



Summertime Beach Bodies Part 2

Has it really been two weeks already since I made my declaration to get in shape?


The Fourth of July weekend pretty much derailed my fitness plan.

Here’s something I realized – having Independence Day on a Saturday is amazing. It pretty much stretches out the holiday into a two-day debauchery-fest. Well, at least that was the case for Emily and me. Two days of sun bathing and barbecuing by day and forcing my liver to put in overtime by night set my fitness goals back a bit.

But that’s the price I have to pay. I knew that going in. We all have dietary vices: fried foods, chocolate, ice cream, etc. Mine happens to be alcohol. Not that I’m an alcoholic – I’m incapable anyway since I have the tolerance of a 100-pound girl.

Come to think of it, Emily is like 100 pounds but she has the tolerance of a 300-pound Irishman. Guess we know who does the driving home.

Fear not, all is not lost.

I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 162 pounds.

So I managed to have a great weekend and still lose weight. That’s what we call winning.

In all honesty, apart from this past weekend, I have been eating well and exercising. This new diet is making me feel much better, and by much better I mean constantly hungry.

All jokes aside, my body feels cleaner and I feel less sluggish. I am getting closer to entering a greater state of Ketosis. For those that aren’t in the know, that’s when the body burns fat for fuel.

I admit, this weight loss goal is kind of stupid. People want to get in shape all the time and as a result they tell their friends that they want to lose weight. In reality, what they mean is they want to lose the fat while keeping the muscle. I mean, that’s what we’re all going for, isn’t it?

What I’m saying is that the important thing is body composition, not weight. I’m going to keep monitoring the weight weekly, but it’s not going to be the end-all-be-all of my fitness progression.

Simply put, my plan is to minimize my carbohydrate intake while upping my fat and protein intake, all portion-controlled, of course. While at the gym, I’m going to spend less time doing cardio and more time weight training.

I feel a little bad for Emily since my diet affects her diet. This low-carb approach can be a rough deal at times. Try telling two Asians not to eat rice.

Asians without rice = unhappy people.

Asians without rice = unhappy people.

I set a goal for myself and I will continue pursuing it. This is a good challenge for me, and overall I am enjoying the process. I feel better already and I’m looking forward to seeing more positive gains.

But let’s see if I can make it through this weekend without falling off the wagon again.

– Chris