Asians

All Asians Look Chinese

Be honest.

We all look Chinese to you, don’t we.

You probably went to our About Us page, saw our photos, and said, “Great, just what I need – another Chinese blogging couple.”

But I don’t blame you. Shit, I’d say the same thing. Aren’t there enough Chinese people in this world already? Do we really need another Chinese couple to make more Chinese babies? Why are Chinese men so bad at pulling out? Don’t Chinese women believe in birth control?

Here’s the thing: I am not Chinese.

Is it racist of me to hate that most people assume that?

Look, to the Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, etc. – I get it. We all look the same. Who cares if someone’s Vietnamese or Japanese. It’s all the same shit to you. Y’all got untrained eyes. That’s fine.

It’s when my fellow Koreans and other Chinese people think I’m Chinese that I get bothered.

When I step into a Korean restaurant, they’ll start speaking to me in English. In their minds, they say, “Psh, I gotta speak Engrish to this Chinese motherfucker.”

The other day, I was at the market when an old Chinese lady came up to me. No hello, no excuse me, no asking if I was Chinese; she just started speaking to me in what appeared to be Mandarin. Granny might as well have been speaking in Dothraki – I didn’t understand a damn thing. Luckily, Emily came to the rescue and helped her with her questions.

This is my existence: while most non-Asians think we’re all Chinese, even the Asians think I’m Chinese too.

I’m right about at that point in life where I’m done correcting people.

Am I Chinese? Yes.

Am I American-born Chinese? Sure.

Am I half-Asian, half-white? How’d you know?

You must be good at math, huh? Look at my face.

And if anyone asks me, what are you? My response – Can’t you tell I’m black?

 

– Chris.

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What Type of Asian Guy Am I?

Well ain’t this some shit.

I recently came across a YouTube video by the FungBros titled 15 Types of Asian Guys. Hmm, well let’s see what these dudes have to say, I thought.

First of all, along with being a Millennial and adjusting to the constant advancements in technology and the resulting shifts in social norms, I am an Asian-American. My parents immigrated to the U.S. from Korea (South Korea. If I’m ever asked again which Korea, north or south, I may hit this person). I was born in Los Angeles and have lived in Southern California my entire life.

But here’s the problem: to Whites Blacks Hispanics Americans, I am Korean Chinese Asian, and to Koreans, I am American. So what the fuck?? It’s as if Korea and the U.S. are picking teams for kickball and neither country wants to pick the American-born Koreans. This struggle for identity is real and something that I feel constantly, and it definitely plays a part in defining the type of “guy” I am.

Back to Asian guys. Here’s the clip:

The clip is pretty amusing and well-made, yet it left me with an odd, slightly unpleasant feeling.

One may think, 15 types? Why so much? It’s rather necessary to have this many types because Asians in America are, for the most part, segregated. Central and South Americans share a common language whereas Asians do not, and this language barrier is why I think a lack of unity among Asians in the U.S. exists. I can’t understand a lick of Vietnamese, and a Thai person wouldn’t understand any Korean – unless he/she is into Kpop and Korean dramas. So naturally there would be many different types of Asian guys.

After writing down the list that the FungBros created, here’s what I’ve concluded about myself:

  1. Hip-Hop Asian Guy
  2. Nerdy Asian Guy
  3. Thug Asian Guy
  4. FOB Asian Guy
  5. White-Washed Asian Guy
  6. Bad Ass Asian Guy
  7. Young Business Professional (YAPPIE) Asian Guy
  8. Party Asian Guy
  9. Fitness Asian Guy
  10. Hipster Asian Guy
  11. Hustler Asian Guy
  12. Rich Asian Guy
  13. AZN Asian Guy
  14. Underachiever Asian Guy
  15. Church Loving Asian Guy

Of course, my knee-jerk reaction is to discount generalizations, but there is some truth to this list. In my experience with Asian guys (and being from SoCal, I’ve had a lot), much of this has to do with life stage. At some point, I probably would have been a Party Asian Guy or a Fitness Asian Guy; it just depends on what we’re into at the moment. This comes back to the identity struggle: we’re trying to find ourselves in a country where we experience a lack of acceptance even though we’re a member just like everyone else.

A list like this can also be problematic because of its stereotyping nature. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most non-Asians in the U.S. think almost all Asian guys are nerds. Do we need another list to further typecast us? Maybe it’s not a big deal; these guys were just joking around, after all. I just hope non-Asians don’t view this clip and actually believe that all Asian guys fit into these molds.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on Asian guys. Are we all great at math? Do we all love sneakers? Are we all either super soft-spoken or batshit-crazy gangster, with nothing in between? Do we lack the qualities of leaders? Are we just weird?

By the way, there’s also a video for 18 Types of Asian Girls– equally amusing, equally well-made (since Asians are so tech-savvy), and equally unintentionally somewhat offensive.

– Chris.