Thinking Is Bad For Your Complexion


Emily and I spent this weekend in Phoenix visiting her family and friends.

On Friday night, we met up with a few friends in Downtown Phoenix for drinks. For a downtown area, Phoenix is rather quiet at night. There doesn’t appear to be a bustling nightlife center like Mill Avenue in Tempe or Old Town Scottsdale. Then again, it was 100 degrees at 11 PM so why bother being outside.

We hopped around a few bars and eventually made our way to one that was relatively empty. It was a small dive bar with ESPN playing on the TV’s. I had no idea that this was a gay bar. One would think that a gay bar would be a little more happening than this one was, given the recent advances in marriage equality.

There was a group of four girls sitting in the patio area. Emily, being the comedian that she is, challenged me in front of our group. “Why don’t you go over there and find out if they’re on a double date?” Great, I’m being called out by my own girlfriend.

How much of a jackass would I be if I had pussied out in that moment? I’ve been the one challenging my male friends to approach women these days, and now Emily is telling me to approach four girls on my own. Awesome. I began to feel a little intimidated.

Fortunately, I have no shits to give in this department. Challenge accepted. I went over, said hello, chit-chatted for a bit, and ended up finding out that they were hetero and hanging out with their gay male friend. He was actually the meanest one out of the group.

 Men, if you’re out at the bars and a friend challenges you to go up to a woman, just do it. Don’t think too much on it; like Ari Gold says, “Thinking is bad for your complexion.”

As long as you’re polite, what’s the worst that can happen? Just try to be funny though.

That is all. Three straight nights of drinking has made me feel like how Keith Richards looks.

– Chris.


  1. I’d have to agree with you, the nightlife in Downtown Phoenix isn’t that great. When I’m not feeling a rowdy night in Scottsdale or Mill, I go to Downtown Gilbert or Chandler. Mill and Scottsdale sometimes get the best of me, I hate being hungover. They aren’t as rowdy but they are both expanding fast so you never know what might become of them. However, I do enjoy my chill nights of drinking casually downtown. You guys should definitely check it out next time you guys are down here.

    Liked by 1 person

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