I cried yesterday.
It wasn’t hysterical sobbing. My eyes welled up and I felt emotional. This doesn’t happen very often at all. For instance, Emily and I will watch a movie like Fruitvale Station and tears will be streaming down her face while I’ll sit there wondering how accurate the movie’s depiction of Oscar Grant really is.
I hardly ever cry over something that happens to me in life, let alone anything else. But I cried yesterday.
What was I doing? I was driving home from work, listening to Pet Sounds.
What kind of weirdo my age chooses to listen to a Beach Boys album from the 60’s? This one. Like I’ve said before, I am not adverse to listening to current music. In fact, there’s plenty of good stuff that’s been released this year – Florence and The Machine and A$AP Rocky’s new albums are quite good. But this is the Beach Boys: pop music royalty, a cornerstone of Southern California rock history. I actually have a copy of Pet Sounds on vinyl and I don’t even own a turntable. I hadn’t listened to this album in a while, so I decided to play it in my car during my awful commute home.
“God Only Knows” is one of my all-time favorite songs. When it came on, I got rather overtaken with emotion. Maybe it was the lyrics. Maybe it was the melody’s tone of yearning and loss. Maybe it was the nostalgic instrumentation. I’m not sure, but damn I love this song.
I don’t even know if that constituted as crying – it’s not like I had to pull over, wipe the tears from face, and blow my nose.
The important thing is that I felt something.
Shit gets thrown at our faces at all the time – not feces, but information. We’re in a constant mode of consuming the newest photos, the latest story-lines, and the most recent viral videos. It feels as though we hardly take time to just stop and breathe.
In a society that overwhelms our senses with outside mediums, we’re becoming oblivious to our own emotions.
For men, crying is associated with weakness, over-sensitivity, and instability – it’s for pansies. But why is it such a non-masculine thing? Isn’t emotion good? Shouldn’t men feel things and express them as opposed to suppressing and bottling them up?
There’s a saying in sports: don’t play emotionally, but play with emotion. How would life be if we were forever in a comatose state?
I’m glad I can still feel something when I hear a song, even if I don’t know why.