So How Long Do I Wait to Call Her?

I love the movie Swingers – it’s undoubtedly a must-watch for every man. These are everyday guys that men can relate to because most men are living the same life.

The movie follows Mike (played by Jon Favreau), a struggling comedian who has recently been dumped by a longtime girlfriend and thrusted into the singles scene in Los Angeles. Every conversation inevitably goes back to his breakup, and he’s facing the brutal truth that this is his first time being single as an adult.

There’s a particular scene which I love. With some great advice from his buddy Trent (definitely be the rated-R guy), Mike approaches the bar and gets a woman’s phone number. The dialogue that ensues is cinematic gold:

So how long do I wait to call her? It may sound like a silly question, but is it really that trivial?

First of all, I’ve already written about how no one calls anymore, so texting can replace calling in this case. Oftentimes women make the mistake of assuming that once they give their number to a man, he’ll know what to do from there. The truth is, a lot of men have no idea what to do after this.

Should men even care? I think they should, or else there will be a large amount of this happening:

The answer, in my opinion, starts with a question, How do you want to come off to a woman? If a man gets a number and then leaves six, seven text messages later that night, surely he must know how that looks. Conversely, if he gets a number and doesn’t message her until two weeks later, she’ll probably want him to piss off. That said, I think it’s safe to say there’s an acceptable range of time after getting the phone number where a man should contact the woman. It’s up to the individual man to be aware of timing things correctly.

If you’d like to chime in on this, please leave a comment below. Everyone has their own opinion on initial contact etiquette, I’m not even sure if there’s a right answer.

– Chris


      1. I would be flattered if he said, “Hi, this is John, it was great meeting you and I wanted to make sure you got my number. LOL and we’ll touch base tomorrow. Sweet dreams.” Very sincere, sweet and to the point. No pressure.

        Liked by 1 person

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