No man is undefeated.
Tonight is the night of the big fight – Mayweather vs. Pacquiao. It’s the dream matchup, good vs. evil, cocky vs. humble, defense vs. offense. I was going to write a post about the fight itself, what to watch for and its social significance in our culture. But, instead, let’s discuss a more important fight, the ones to avoid with your girl.
To the fellas – I know we’ve seen men go undefeated. Floyd Mayweather hasn’t lost (yet) a fight, the ’72 Dolphins went undefeated, and the UCLA basketball team went undefeated 4 times during the ’60s and ’70s. But, when it comes to the game of love and relationships, NO MAN is undefeated. In fact, I can’t think of any man who’s won more fights with his girl than lost. Women just have a way of breaking us down round by round like a championship prize fighter. With that said, here are some tips to avoid fights with your special lady.
Girls love to talk. I mean, they really love to talk. Don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. Your girl wants to let you in on her thoughts and feelings. She wants to be close to you. I know, sometimes us men just want to turn off our brains and just relax, but we must remember women are wired much differently. So if you’ve sat through half a quarter of an NBA game, seen multiple lead changes and and-1’s, with your girl all the while talking to you about her day, and you haven’t said a word to her or even taken your eyes off the screen, do your self a favor and engage in the conversation that she’s obviously started 15 minutes ago.
Flattery Will Get You Everywhere
Your girl is beautiful. She’s a one-of-a-kind purple unicorn that’s most fortunately committed to being in a relationship with you. She’s funny, intelligent, and great to be around. I mean, hell, she’s willing to be naked in front of you, and even more astounding, she doesn’t run out of the room in hysterical laughter once you’ve taken your clothes off. She should be reminded regularly that she’s #1, and if you’re a guy that thinks telling her the one time that you think she’s pretty is going to be enough, well then I pity that fool.
Do you want to come with me to lunch with my girlfriend from out of town? Yes. Do you want to go try that new Chinese restaurant 20 miles away? Yes. Do you want to spend the day cleaning the house? Yes. Instead of watching football, do you want to go to Costco with me? Yes. Do you want to read this book together? Yes. Get the point?
She’s Not One of The Guys
We all want that girl that can, at times, be just like one of the guys. You know, the kind you can go to the sports bar with in the afternoon and eat wings, drink beers, and watch games all day. Well, newsflash – no girl will ever be one of the guys. The way we talk, act, and generally waste our time with the boys can’t go on with our girl. Whether they will admit it or not, girls want a special kind of attention from you, the kind that will remind her that she is special to you. So just leave the profanity-laced gluttony time with the fellas.
Just Do It
Did she ask you if you can go to Starbucks and get her a chai latte? Did she ask you to take out the trash? Did she ask you to walk the dog? Did she ask you to get her a cup of water even though you’re all nice and comfy in bed? Just fucking do it.
Well, I hope this helps. We have a great fight on our hands tonight. But just remember, there are fights that we look forward to in life and there are fights we best wish to avoid. Let’s be like Mayweather and duck fights, because, in the case of you and your girl, you will not be getting paid $200 million to fight.
* Emily will be back, I promise.